Oxygen!

My idol and friend, Julia Smillie (her link is on the right) frequently offers up a topic in the reader forum called, "Fitness Police." People post their challenges and successes for the week in the areas of responsible eating and exercise. They cheer each other along and absolve the transgressions of big dinners and ice cream.

After too many days off I leashed up personal security canine extraordinaire, Miles Davis, and hit Tower Grove Park tonight. Before the break, I was able to run most of a half-park trek. Alas, I could do no such thing today.

Not only didn't I run it, I couldn't even walk the damned thing. In a gigantic admission of failure, I cut through the ball fields to shorten the journey back to the Shaw neighborhood. By the time I returned the still spry dog back to his home my shirt was soaking and plastered to my body and, in a flashback to the Presidential Physical Fitness testing of sixth grade, there was a disabling cramp in my side. To round out my humiliation, my face was beet-red from exertion.

I fell into the house and face down onto the floor. A model of poor health and total lack of stamina. Gross.