18 October 2005

No Cheering in Gymnastics

Prior to this year's soccer season, I made a solemn oath to myself that I would refrain from "soccer parent" behavior. This hasn't worked out exactly as I'd hoped.

Now, in my defense, the parents of the 7th grade girls Mary Mother of the Church team are a united group. Our kids have played together since first grade. We all scream. Some pace along the sidelines and a few have really big, carrying voices. I fall into every category, making me A) a pain in the neck to the other team, and B) a bossy know it all. It also makes me a master ventriloquist as I've never been busted by the referee for such helpful comments like, "Drag your foot on the throw in", "Watch your offsides," and "HANDBALL!!!." Does that constitute parent coaching from the fan side of the field? Well, I certainly don't think so.

On the flip side, I don't care, even a little, if the kids win their games. Nor do I wear team colors or second guess the officials. Okay... that last one I do very quietly. Did I mention never wearing team colors?

Luckily, two players have parents in the medical profession, so when the day comes that I actually have a stroke while screaming at the keeper to charge the lone, breakaway forward, they can provide care until EMS arrives.

Oh hell, I'll try again next year.