Optional Custom Pinstriping

I'd rather have dinner with my last ex-husband than go car shopping. Really, its that horrible for me.

Car salesmen are so amazingly cheesy. And not in a Fred Hessel-cheesy-campy-tongue-in-cheek kind of way. What with their white Oxfords, slick hair, scripted lines and misogynistic approach. I hate them and their children.

My car shopping experiences have, thus far, not been unlike a sitcom skit where the female customer asks about the rollover rating and the salesmen skirts the issue and demonstrates the lighted, vanity mirror. Questions about curtain airbags are met with explanations about side impact-absorbing beams in the doors. Crumple zones? Why worry about that when this little baby comes with XM stereo?

Perhaps I should pretend I'm a deaf/mute. Not all the time, (though some of you may like the idea a little too much) just when I go to purchase the car. I'll hand the salesman a note that says, "I need a 2005, automatic transmission with air conditioning, front and side airbags and ABS. It must have a 5 star crash rating and keys. Thank you." Really, who wants to spend a whole bunch of extra time with a deaf/mute?

Hmmm....I might be on to something here.