100% True Story

Somehow, somewhere, planets aligned and I found myself attending a St. Louis Blues hockey game the other night. This is the second time this year I've gone to a game but the first game, I actually watched the hockey. Night before last, I was far too distracted to pay attention to the puck, referees, players or even the general direction of the ice.

Two rows behind me sat a group of women, perhaps 5 of them, in their mid to late thirties. They were all dressed very, ahem..youthfully. Go to any mall and you'll see the get-up. Low-rider denim, sequined belt and midriff baring top. All the kids are wearing that uniform and so were these women. One difference might have been the depth-chart sized beer each held. And drank. And then tottered down the steps in high heeled boots to get said beers refilled.

I have never, ever, in my entire life heard a group of adults sound so stupid. It wasn't just the terrible grammar or the incessant "y'know?"s. It was the endless droning on about guys, shopping, guys, shopping. Then followed squealing laughter and announcements about having to pee.

About the time I was considering shooting myself in the face rather than risking the possibility that I might catch their dumbness, some poor dude rolled up and started spittin' mad game. As a really smooth opening line, this cat asked the pack if they were Dallas fans. Sadly, they were not. (Although one claimed to be married to Mike Modano.) Ol' boy dove right in with the Dallas insults in a desperate and wasted effort to be clever.

One chickadee replied, "Don't be mean about Dallas 'cause its a great state."

Your Honor, the prosecution rests.

Memoirs of Gay-Sha

I'm absolutely fascinated by geisha and confess to having more than a casual knowledge on the topic. While my expertise on kimono is not as extensive as I'd like, not having ever had the opportunity to handle an authentic piece, the fact does not lessen my enthusiasm or appreciation for not only kimono, but the geisha arts and culture. The protocol, the music of the shamisen and the mysterious dances are really fascinating.

I had such high hopes for the film version of Memoirs of a Geisha. What a chance to educate people about the amazing lives of maiko and geiko and the politics of the Japanese teahouses. The vivid and priceless kimono could be displayed to their full effect with some demonstration of the complex skill required to tie the underrrobes and knots of the obi. It could have truly debunked the common beliefs that geisha were prostitutes instead of highly trained artists and entertainers. I could go on and on about the possibilities in making a film like this, but I'll spare you, the gentle reader.

Thanks to Rob Marshall, his writers and producers of this woefully under shot and under explored film. They managed to make a simple boy-meets-girl movie out of a spectacular subject and excellent work of fiction with historical basis.

Thanks, Big Hollywood, for yet another disappointment.

(I suspect that like most of my rants, this post will be up for a limited time.)

Leave of Absence- Blogstyle

I've used my powers to shut down the Community Cafes blog. Perhaps, if there is a significant outcry from the readers, I'll fire up another one specifically for Hartford Coffee at a later date. A blog without comments.

I debated this decision all afternoon. Do I keep the business blog and just edit the comments? Do I want people to have a means of communication? The answers are no and yes, respectively.

If people have comments, suggestions or complaints, I still want to hear them. My email address is posted behind the register at Hartford. For the record, my email is shannon@hartfordcoffeecompany.com. My telephone number is 314.771.5282. I am (and have been) at Hartford Coffee Monday through Friday, usually in the morning and early afternoon. I return all customer phone calls.

I am easy to reach and dare I say, easy to talk to. I am not anonymous. And I will no longer accept "anonymous" criticism.

PSA

I'm studying up for a restaurant safety exam I'm required to take and learned a few fun facts such as...

Rodents urinate approximately 3,000 times per day.

Microwaving your food with plastic wrap over it emits 10 million times the FDA rating for safety.

Recent surveys indicate that approximately 50% of the population does not wash their hands after using the toilet.

Bacteria double in number (by splitting) every 20 minutes.

The hits keep on comin' but I'm going to leave it at that. Waaaay scarier than the boogie man, man. I don't know about you, but a couple of those tidbits make me want to immerse myself in a beer barrel of bleach!

Just thought you'd like to know.

Short List

My future friend and current idol, Julia Smillie posed a question on her forum recently. "What do you really want for Christmas?" I paraphrase, of course.

I thought about this for a long time. And this is where I arrived...

A few years ago I gutted my bathroom. It was 1970's disgusting and had a bathtub lacking slanting sides. So, if a person were to want to recline in the bath, she would have her head resting at a 180 angle. Not really resting then, is it? Out went the grotty old tub and in came a shiny new Jacuzzi whirlpool with built in heater and directional jets. It was magnificent. Funny enough, it's still quite magnificent because I rarely get to use it and I can never enjoy it properly.

That's what I'd like for Christmas. I'd like two hours alone. And by alone I mean the kids and the dogs gone or sedated, the telephones turned off and the doors locked. I want the water heater cranked up to high, matches easily accessible and my soaps, lotions and powders unmoved. I want a stack of People magazines and Norah Jones crooning on the CD player. If the stars were so aligned, I would also prefer a brand new (but washed) bath sheet. For the final touch, a frosty Diet Coke over store-bought, crushed iced in a plastic cup. Okay...now I've gone too far.

While I dream, I'll continue taking Speedy Gonzales showers faster than you can whistle Jingle Bells.